What Personal Lubricant is Recommended for Deliberate Orgasm?
Using a personal lubricant is a basic element of Deliberate Orgasm (DOing). Even if you are DOing a woman and lots of natural fluids are present, using a personal lubricant is still important.
The glans of the clitoris is extremely sensitive, even more sensitive than the surface of the eye. And, like the eye, you want to be deliberate in the way that you touch it. In terms of the clitoris, use of lubrication prevents abrasions. Lubrication reduces the stress of wondering if she will get wet or be wet at the right time and, for both men and woman, simply feels more pleasurable.
There are 3 different lubricants we recommend for Deliberate Orgasm, each one with its own specific use. Whether you will be using latex or not plays a significant role in which lubricant is right for you.
If you are not screened* with a partner, one should use latex gloves and a water soluble lubricant. This is important because oil-based lubricants break down latex. It may not be visually noticeable, but within seconds of contact oil begins to dissolve the latex barrier.
We have tried practically every water based, or water soluble lubricant available on the market, including homemade, and have found the best by far to be K-Y Jelly. However, generic brands such as Equate tend to be about half the cost of name brand K-Y Jelly, and we have found them to be equal to the task.
Jelly lubricant has a thicker texture and while it may not mimic natural lubrication, it lasts much longer than the thinner varieties. This allows you and your partner to keep your attention on where you are stroking, avoiding frequent reapplication breaks that interrupt the action. Jelly lubricant also stays in place much better and is stiff enough to help spread pubic hairs out of the way.
All water soluble lubricants will eventually dry out. While it is possible to re-hydrate with the addition of water, we do not recommend using a spray bottle to make it slick again, as it can be shocking to the person getting DOne. Simply reapply as needed.
If you are screened with a partner or for DOing yourself, we have a favorite for both women and men.
For DOing a woman, we recommend Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. It is a petroleum jelly, and since DOing consists of stroking her clitoris, it is perfectly safe. Vaseline has excellent staying power, even longer than K-Y. The brand name product also provides a nice drag quality that adds to the sensation that we enjoy.
For DOing a man, we use Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser. In our experience, it is not available at all drug stores, but most often can be found at Rite-Aid. It is actually a make-up remover, so be sure to look in the appropriate section when shopping. It is also petroleum based and lasts well, but is thinner than Vaseline and liquefies upon use.
Contrary to popular belief, petroleum is safer than comparable natural products on the market. This is because petroleum itself is inert, meaning that even after long periods of time, it will not mold or create bacteria. Lubricants made from plant products such as olive oil, aloe vera, cocoa butter, or the like, will mold and harbor bacteria if left un-refrigerated. Especially if left behind in warm, dark and moist environments.
When DOing, you will also want to use a DO towel, which is a washcloth-sized absorbent towel. Placing this towel beneath the buttocks of the person being DOne allows it to absorb any lubricant (natural or artificial) that may drip. Upon completing the DO date it is used to stealthily wipe the persons genitals free of lubrication. The pressure of the towel stroke feels good, but it is important not to dab or doddle, making the towel-off stroke just as important as any other stroke.
*If you do not know without a doubt that you or your partner have no danger of exposure, past or present, to STDs or HIV we recommend using latex during sexual contact, including for manual stimulation.
Video - A Guide to Using Sensual Lubricant
Instructors demonstrate how to pleasurably apply and remove lubricant
in detailed footage taken during an Observation of Intense Coming Course.